Johnny Oops and his bride to be Sahara were standing in front of the Huppa, which in this case was made of white lattice framed wood covered in beautiful white carnations. The Huppa was a covering or canopy traditionally used in Jewish wedding ceremonies. They were facing Sahara’s father, the Kabalistic Rabbi Frenbren who was conducting the wedding ceremony under the Huppa. In attendance in the garden of Rabbi Frenbren were many importantreligious figures from all over the world and some of Johnny’s most powerful friends, and members of his flock in the Dialectic Rationalization of Materialism religion. All told over two hundred and forty people were gathered on the large back lawn of Rabbi Frenbren’s home watching the ceremony in almost total disbelief at this strange, almost weird union in the making of a young upstart would be prophet, and the daughter of the venerable Kabalistic Rabbi Frenbren. Most people though this was not a match made in Heaven until it happened.
The young couple, who were both dressed in flowing white linen gowns, had just reached the part in the ceremony where the groom traditionally breaks a glass under his foot to symbolize – I will let you use your imagination as to what it symbolizes – when a large boom startled the gathering.
A passing cloud had suddenly turned dark grey and a bolt of lightening unlike any seen before, this one appeared to have five spikes of lightening coming out of it in what clearly resembled a hand, struck the Huppa and set it on fire. The most amazing part of this is that neither the white carnations nor Johnny or his bride were hurt, but the poor old Kabalistic Rabbi Frenbren noticed with horror that his red velvet slippers had caught fire and he had to take them off immediately to avoid being seriously burnt.
Johnny laughed in delight and said, “See old man, God has put your feet to the fire because you have not accepted the superiority of my Dialectic Rationalization of Materialism religion. God has spoken. I told you that you would see God’s hand sanctify this marriage and now you and all your people and mine have been witness to the truth. This is a great day. God has spoken.”
The old Rabbi was shaken and only managed to say, ‘It’s a blessing. There can be no doubt.”
Sahara kissed Johnny passionately and turning to the crowd in attendance said, “God has spoken. He has blessed my Johnny and I. You too can be blessed if you only just believe and bear witness to the miracle you have seen.”
The crowd roared their approval and to a man and woman they said, “We believe, we believe, God has spoken.”
There was only one member of the press in attendance from the MysticNewspaper who borrowed the wedding photographer’s photo of the emerging from the lightening bolt taken by the photographer as he fell over backwards, startled by the bolt of lightening, and crashed into the ice sculpture containing the chopped liver mold. The photo ran in all the leading newspapers with the caption, “God Takes New By The Hand”.
Johnny was heard saying, I told you, I told you, I have the ‘word’. I am the messenger. I am a prophet. No one can deny it. Wait to you see what I do next.
He then proceeded to swallow a whole bottle of sweet kosher red wine in one huge gulp, and passed out, landing conveniently on his bride who was sitting at a table counting the wedding gift checks. In her first flare of wedded displeasure, she noted to her unconscious husband that he had made her lose count, and that there would be hell to pay when he woke up prophet or not.
Johnny was unfazed and in his drunken stupor kept mumbling, “Wait till you see what I do next. I’m a prophet.”
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© Arthur Levine 2007